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This Week in Jobs DMV: Healthy Glow Edition

Treatments, jobs and more.

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Editor’s note: Every week we ship an email newsletter featuring the region’s most exciting career opportunities. We’ve lovingly called it This Week in Jobs (aka TWIJ — “twidge.”). Below is this week’s edition. Here’s the last one we published; it’s meant to live in your inbox. Sign up for the newsletter here.

Mask Off

A “solution for dryness” and “dullness” can be had for just $6. Sure, it may be referring to merely the superficial, not month four of our stuck-at-home, bottom-of-the-Netflix-barrel, donuts-for-dinner ennui. But coating your face in a hydrating sheet of plastic for a half hour not only offers a pleasantly refreshing change to routine, but a much-needed instant solution in this age of uncertainty — even if the effectiveness of the treatment is questionable at best.

Just don’t forget to remove it before your next work Zoom or interview. Unless of course you want to shock and disturb your future coworkers.

The News

Be your own boss, same as the old boss. Not quite the lyrics The Who put together, but there are plenty of potential pitfalls facing the new startup entrepreneur — and it’s all the more challenging while so many folks continue to work at home due to COVID-19. Baltimore tech founder and mentor Wayne Schepens has seen it all — and walks through six common challenges to help make sure you won’t get fooled again.

Despite the apparent lifeline offered by the federal Paycheck Protection Program, or PPP, in the wake of COVID-19 and the financial crisis, plenty of businesses across the DMV are struggling. Whatever the challenges your company may be facing, you’re surely far from alone.

The Jobs


  • Ordway is seeking a “high-energy, goal-oriented individual” for the role of Sales Solution Engineer. We’re not engineers, but wouldn’t the solution to sales be … more sales?
  • Ordway is also hiring a Full-Stack Developer, or what we call the pancake artisans at IHOP.
  • If you’ve longed to put “VIP” on your business cards, Visionary Integration Professionals is looking for a Data Scientist. Let us know if it lets you cut in line at the club and place a preorder of SnakeJuice ahead of all us non-VIP normies.


  • The Baltimore City Office of Information and Technology is seeking a Microsoft Systems Engineer.
  • The healthcare AI firm Olive in Baltimore is looking for a Product Manager, particularly anyone “passionate about building products that customers love and will fundamentally change healthcare.”
  • Here’s a power-ful position: The energy company Exelon in Baltimore is seeking a Web Analyst to spearhead “a clearly defined social media strategy.” You’ll be responsible for evaluating, planning, organizing, managing, and contributing to the company’s social media channels — better have a thick skin for when BGE has a power outage.
  • The Space Telescope Science Institute in Baltimore is hiring a Software Engineer to help with NASA missions.


  • Stacks on stacks on stacks: Booz Allen Hamilton in Arlington is hiring a full-stack Software Developer.
  • The original crypto: Boeing in Fairfax is seeking a Software Engineer to join its work developing “the next generation of Signals Intelligence” — aka the tech used by aircraft, ships, submarines and “ground mobile vehicles” for “intercepting and exploiting signals in the radio frequency environment.” Neat.
  • BAE Systems, also how we refer to the dating apps, is hiring a Master Full-Stack Developer in Reston. You’ll need to stack 15 pancakes without toppling to achieve Master status at my IHOP franchise.


The End

You could do worse than accidentally wearing your sheet mask out in public — it’s certainly better than many of the horrifying mask-alternatives some of our more interesting neighbors have worn onto city subways. We’ll let you do the Googling.

Good luck out there on the job hunt!


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