goPuff is now selling sex toys on demand

We were just trying to get through our day when we got this pitch from a PR person at 5W Public Relations.

“This Valentine’s Day, where else can you order roses, chocolates, anal lube, vibrators, condoms, whipped cream, cock rings and chocolate syrup all on-demand to arrive in just 30 mins or less?”

Oh boy.

“goPuff is a ‘convenience store on wheels’ – and one-stop shop for a sensual and spicy V-day celebration. goPuff delivers the above items (plus 3,000+ products!) straight to your door super-fast in 30 mins or less to savor the moment — because let’s be honest, what’s worse than interrupting foreplay with a trip to the c-store?!”

The kicker?

“For hometown customers in Philly, they’ve added an assortment of spicier options with vibrators, cock rings, butt plugs, gag kits and pocket pool balls, which sold out over the weekend, so they’ve had to restock in time for Tuesday. [Emphasis theirs.] For goPuff’s 14 other markets, more traditional roses, chocolates, teddy bears and scented candles are available on-demand to impress the S.O. (and make sure you get laid this year).”

Confusion ensued.

Oh, goPuff. We bet your warehouse is an interesting sight to behold right now.

We are just trying to give the people what they want

— Gopuff (@gopuff) February 13, 2017

The goPuff PR woman told us that the company started selling these items for Valentine’s Day but may just keep selling them, depending on demand.