In the single page document, simply titled “ABBA”, the author begins by issuing a stern warning:
“All the food [you] ate since first grade is alive in your body.”
And then it just goes downhill from there:
To summarize: All food we’ve consumed from first grade on up is still alive inside our bodies. The only way to save yourself from this harrowing reality is to become a solid steel statue (?) by mixing your body with melted metal (??) then re-solidifying the metal (???).
In order to make this ritual happen, the mysterious author has convened a meeting on April 27, at noon, to be held at the vacant lot on 27th and Girard Ave. Of course, you’ll be sedated first. Do attend.
After the first Reddit user — seemingly, monkeychef — posted the incredibly odd document, virality quickly ensued, with the three top posts of the letter garnering almost 1,900 upvotes by the time we hit publish on this story.
There were memes …
… and memes …
… and memes.
What we do know:
There’s a subreddit with all the info and memes.
It’s called FurnaceParty.
The vacant lot exists.
There’s at least one Facebook event that banded 100 people together to attend the meeting.
Be aware: Heeding an anonymous invitation to a vacant lot might not be the smartest move in the world.
And now, here are some questions:
Could this be actual video of the letter being delivered?
Reddit user popfilms posted security camera video of a man delivering a letter to a pair of houses. That could be literally anyone, anywhere. A direct message to the user inquiring about the origin of the video and if this had taken place at their home was cryptically responded:
“No, but I know all about it.”
Could this be a marketing ploy of some kind?
A Brewerytown bar called Otto’s Taproom, conveniently located two blocks from the mysterious empty lot, posted a tongue-in-cheek video hinting at the contents of the letter. Could this be a guerrilla marketing move from Otto’s? Or did the local bar just receive one of the flyers and decided to jump on the bandwagon?
Calls and emails to Otto’s were not immediately responded.-30-
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